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Urban Legends

Easter Cookies

The Legend

Submitted April 2006

My mom sent this recipe and I think we're going to try it tomorrow, which is Good Friday -- praise the Lord (and pass into the kitchen)!

EASTER STORY COOKIES

To be made the evening before Easter.

You need:

  • 1 cup whole innocent pecans
  • 1 tsp. bitter vinegar
  • 3 pure egg whites
  • 1 pinch salt of the earth
  • 1 cup sweet-as-the-Lord's-tears sugar
  • ziplock baggie
  • hammer
  • mixing bowl
  • large rock
  • King James Bible
  • numerous children with hearts filled with love for our Lord Jesus

Preheat oven to 300 degrees and explain that for 30 years Jesus walked the earth like a purifying flame. Read Revelation 2:18.

Trap pecans in a ziplock baggie and let children beat them with the hammer over and over and over until their arms are tired with effort and the pecans have been smashed into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers. Read Mark 13:9.

Ask the children if they had fun using the hammer. Tell them that's just how the Roman soldiers probably felt when they were hammering the nails into our Lord's hands and feet. Read Judges 5:26.

Let each child smell the vinegar and put it in the mixing bowl. Explain that being beaten and nailed to the cross made Jesus thirsty, but they just gave him vinegar to drink. Read Proverbs 10:26.

Add the egg whites to the vinegar. Eggs represent life, just as the thrown-away yolk represents rejection of the temptation of original sin. Explain that Jesus had to be crucified because we are all sinners. Read John 10:10-11.

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin. Read Luke 11:12.

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing, but then neither is the thought of our innocent Lord being tortured to death for our sins. Add 1 cup of sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us, just like Mommy and Daddy might one day have to die if their children are bad. Read Philippians 4:18.

Beat ingredients with a mixer on high speed for 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Remind the children that Jesus' blood mixed with his sweat on the cross, and that the color white represents how pale everyone got when they saw the horrible bloody sight of our dying savior. Read Hebrews 4:2.

Fold in the poor, broken nuts, just as Jesus' dead body folded as it was taken from the cross. Don't read a Bible verse, just look at the batter and think about all the hard work that went into making Jesus die.

Drop bits of batter by teaspoons onto wax-paper-covered cookie sheet, like tears falling from your spoon. Explain that the cookie sheet is the waxy ground of Israel and that each mound represents a rock in the tomb where Jesus' lifeless body was laid. Read Luke 8:13.

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door, and turn the oven off. Explain that once Jesus' body was in the tomb, all goodness in the world was turned off and pretty much everyone thought that was the end of his story. Read Luke 4:20.

Roll the big rock (or a flame-proof beanbag chair if more convenient) against the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed to keep out heretics, souvenir hunters, grave robbers, and coyotes. Read 1 Corinthians 15:55.

Send the children to bed. Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven over night, but think of how Jesus' followers must have felt. Remind your children that at least the person they love the most isn't dead. Read Matthew 26:45.

On Easter morning, point out that the cookies have been in the oven much longer than cookies usually stay in the oven. Surely they must have gone bad by now. Read John 11:17.

Open the oven and -- the cookies are gone! On the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty. Read Proverbs 9:17 and have a nice breakfast (although you may not feel like eating, after all those midnight cookies).


Behind the Legend

This is just one of many "Bible lesson" recipes that have floated around the Internet for years. Other examples include:

  • In the Beginning Pudding
  • Eve's Apple Tart
  • S'mores and Gomorrah
  • The Ten Condiments
  • Archangelfood Cake
  • Lot's Wife's Saltines
  • The Immaculate Confection
  • Ever-Virgin Bloody Marys
  • The Miracle of Water into Coolaid
  • Casting Demons into Pigs in a Blanket
  • Easter Sundae
  • Pentacost Baked Alaska
  • Crucifixion of Peter Upside-Down Cake
  • Six-Six-Shieskabob

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