Urban Legends

Fatal Pancake Mix

The Legend

Received via e-mail in May 2006

Here is a Dear Abby that you should read if you have children or like pancakes, but particularly have children that like pancakes.

Dear Abby: I recently made off with a batch of pancake mix from a "1920s kitchen" thing at the Natural History museum down in the city and took it home to fry up a batch of pancakes for my family. He said that they tasted awful, but he always says that about my cooking and he ate them anyway (he'll eat anything that'll fit in his dumb mouth). About 10 minutes later, he began choking something awful and his eyes bugged out like a possum under a tractor tire. I slapped him upside the head with the griddle and told him to stop it, but he just wouldn't listen.

My husband is a volunteer in our all-volunteer fire department. He heated up some water, and we had my son go stand outdoors so his looks wouldn't upset us while we had some coffee and talked the thing over. By the time we were done, Junior was fine, but he wouldn't finish his breakfast, even though food don't grow on trees.

I checked the box of pancake mix and was mighty riled to find that it was filled with sawdust, normal plain dust, and some kinds of dead bugs. When we told our neighbors out on the next hill about my son's close call, and they said they had a problem like that where they took a squirrel from a display at the museum and when they went to cook it, there was NO PROPER MEAT INSIDE! So the point here is, YOU CAN'T TRUST MUSEUMS! -- Annabelle in Hot Mountain, KY

Dear Annabele: Thank you for the warning. I certainly was not aware the museums did this kind of thing. On the other hand, I don't think they intended you to eat their display.

Behind the Legend

A little online research reveals that this letter and response really were printed in "Dear Abby" in the early part of April 2006, so it must be true.

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